Ahmad once had this song and the line that I remember the most was the chorus “back in the day when I was young, I’m not a kid anymore” and I am really glad that I’m not a young person in these days.

One of the biggest reasons that I am glad I’m not young these days is because many young people not only lack respect for each other, many don’t have any respect for themselves.  Try telling them that and one can expect an argument out of this world.  I don’t blame the young people entirely; I place part of the blame the breakdown on the fact that as a society, we expect less from them than previous generations.

When I was growing up, young men opened the doors for women and the elderly out of common courtesy.  I am not sure that many in this generation even know what common courtesy is, because I have watched many go through a door and let it close on the elderly person behind them.  That pisses me off to no end; that was unheard of when I was younger, hell it’s still unheard of to me.

I remember when men didn’t curse in mixed company; they had enough respect for women that it just didn’t happen.  Now, not only do young men curse in front of young women, the young women are cursing back, and loudly.  I remember taking my mom and dad out for dinner a few years ago and sitting at the table behind us, there was a group of young men talking, if that’s what you want to call it.  Every other word that came out of their mouth was “fuck”, “fuck that bitch”, “fuck you”, “fuck that”, you get my drift.  If that wasn’t bad enough, their conversation was graphic; it was one of those conversations that could have been printed in some smut magazine about some tawdry one night stand.  It got so bad that I finally just walked back to their table, told them that I was with my parents and asked if they could tone it down and show a little respect.   They were not only embarrassed but they actually apologized to my parents, which I thought was very cool.

They guys are not the only one lacking in some kind of home training.  Some of the young ladies are just off the chain.  It seems that they have gotten the message that it’s what’s between their legs that matters more than what’s between their ears.  A lot of young women are basing their self-esteem on what guy they can get into bed or if they can “steal” another woman’s guy, even if it’s only for a night.

I just love it when young people use the phrase “get out of my business”, many of these young people don’t even know that they have no business.  They are so busy putting their entire life online, never stopping to think that once it’s on the net, they have invited the world into their business.  A gentleman used to not kiss and tell, well many of these young people are not only kissing and telling but fuckin’ and telling all of it.  What is that?

If all of that is not bad enough, many young people don’t even know how to apply for a job.  When I was working in human resources, I recall young people coming in and asking “aye, is ya’ll hiring”?  I was obligated to give them an application and when they came back for the interview, the young men would come in wearing a pair of slacks, sagging of course and the young ladies were coming in wearing skirts shorter than Amber Rose’s hair.  Who taught them that?  Rather, whoever was supposed to tell them NOT to do those things dropped the ball.

I think that this generation has a lot of entitlement issues.  No one wants to actually work hard for anything anymore.  Many young people have been given so much that they feel as if the rest of the world is supposed to provide for them instead of them breaking a sweat and working for what they want.  Not comparing young people to dogs, but I don’t even give my dogs treats unless they work for it even if it’s simple command such as sit.

The sad thing is, this is the generation that will be raising their children with the same flawed thinking.  I once saw a video on YouTube about a little boy (he must have been about 5) that was just cussing up a storm about his bike.  The people were so busy taking phone recordings, laughing at him and encouraging him to keep it going, not once, did anyone tell that little dude to watch his mouth let alone correct his behavior.

It really pisses me off when I see videos of young girls dancing and executing moves that hookers could only hope to learn.  I see nothing entertaining about children booty poppin and moving in ways that could almost be considered as pornographic while being cheered on by adults who should know better.

This generation is, without a doubt, the “me” generation and unless things impact their lives they don’t worry about it.  There is often no consideration for the feelings of others and the value of human life is worth less than the value of a dollar.

I am not a goody-goody, but the difference between how many young people are today versus how my generation was raised to be, makes me wonder whether or not we all actually grew up on the same planet.  I think that whenever possible, we need to reach out to some of these kids and show them how to be excited about who they are inside versus some of the negative things that manage to keep them captivated.  Each one, teach one.  End rant here …..

I saw an image tonight on my friend’s FB page and it said “Ladies, guys are sick of hearing you ask where all of the ‘nice guys’ are.  They’re in the ‘friend zone’ where you left them.”

I started thinking about all of the women that I’ve heard talk about how they didn’t want to get involved with a man because she didn’t want to ruin the friendship.  That doesn’t make any sense to me.  When I hear people say that, I tend to think that they are either not physically attracted to the person and are afraid to hurt their feelings, or they are not very comfortable with their own relationship skills.

I like to think that my lover is my best friend.  To me, my significant other should be the one that I share things with, enjoy doing things with and is my rock when things are getting tough.  My friends know more about men than someone I just meet and take the time to understand my quirky ways.  If a woman has a man in her life that does all of those things, why would she not want him as her lover?

Every relationship has the possibility of ending, be it a friendship or a romantic relationship. I think that so many women have been involved in bad relationships (I know men have too but I’m a woman and speaking from my own point of view), that it is easier to keep a guy in the friend zone.  See, if a man stays in the friend zone, a woman has the benefit of his company, his emotional support and consistent approval, without having to take the emotional risk that comes with being in a romantic relationship.

What tends to happen is, woman keep a guy in the friend zone, date some jackass that breaks her heart and then goes back to the friend zone to have him pick up the pieces.  I think that not only sounds selfish, but I also think that part of the reason the heart got broken is that the man she was dating didn’t respect the relationship the same way that the man in the friend zone does.  If this sounds like she wants her cake and eat it too, then that sounds just about right.

I am not saying that men and women cannot be friends, they can, they are plenty of men and women who are friends where neither of them is interested in the other romantically, and if that is the case then the above doesn’t apply.  I also know people who have maintained a platonic relationship with exes; I attribute that to the previous romantic relationship being built on a friendship.

I would say to the women that have men hovering around in the friend zone that you should take some time to evaluate the real reason that you keep those “nice guys” in the friend zone.  Maybe the nice guy is not what you want; it’s what you think you want.

Oh and ladies, if a man is not physically attractive to you, just tell him.  No, don’t come out and say that he’s ugly or whatever, but respect your friend by telling him the truth, you are not romantically interested in him.  Let’s retire that lame “I don’t want to ruin the relationship” madness, that phrase is right up there with “it’s not you, it’s me”.

There was a song that once asked the magic question “how can we be lovers if we can’t be friends”?  Well?

I guess I should preface this journey into the land of total phuckery by saying, the terms “ho, slut, manwhore” and the like are all relative to the speaker.  However, one’s perception of what a “ho, slut, manwhore” is, is based on the listener.  So, a man who knows a woman who sleeps with men because they have a car could be considered “hoish” by some….and resourceful by others….follow me??

Today’s lesson in “Ho-ology” is courtesy of Twitter….lol.  Last night, instead of doing my homework, like I should have been doing, I was goofing off on Twitter,  one of the TTs (trending topics) was #GirlsShould.  That sounded easy enough so I said ” #GirlsShould not act like a ho and expect to be treated like a lady.”  I still stand by that statement, if a person (male or female) chooses to be a “random” or a “jumpoff” for someone or a few someones, don’t expect that someone to open your doors, pull out your chair and all the stuff they do for their significant other, you are the “random” or the “jumpoff” without significant other status……know your role.

Anyhew…..about an hour later, I get this tweet and this woman is hotter than fish grease (mind you, my tweet had been retweeted without comment quite a few times), and attempts to give me a letter in political correctness.  She goes on some crazy ass rant about how I have my nerve to say that women who enjoy sex should be treated less than human……huh??  I had to look at my tweets again, this heffa is off her brick.  It gets better though, apparently, according to her therapist….damn, I mean her…. I am an advocate for disrespecting people based on their sexual habits.  Really?  I had no idea I was all that.  I thought what I said was pretty clear and not too open for misinterpretation or over analysis, I was apparently wrong as two left shoes.

She further goes on to say that it’s people “like me” that blame rape victims for their rape and find victims guilty of bringing sexual harassment on themselves, all because I used the word “ho”.  Miss Thang was on a roll, she was going to read me like some “easy reader” book, I am not sure what page she was on when she assessed that I was sexist and advocated for the degradation of women who choose to explore their sexuality.  REALLY??!!!  I said all that??!!!  I thought what I said was  ” #GirlsShould not act like a ho and expect to be treated like a lady.”   Issues much?

About this point, I had come to the reality that she must have been called a “ho” recently and taken personal offense to my tweet…..and?  I attempted to explain that the word was relative to those who use it and people have the right to choose who they are with based on their own personal criteria.  If a man does not want a woman, or a woman does not want a man that has been circulated like a newspaper, that’s their choice.  I never advocated nor suggested that anyone should be treated like dirt.

This woman was in her feelings, deep……she was not in her head at all and she was going to make me pay for every man that hit and quit her and every woman that has ever called her a “ho” to her face and behind her back.  I was apparently the source of every misjudgment that had been made where she was concerned and she was going to make sure I knew all about it, which she qualified by tweeting “yeah, i got my hackles up about the word “hoe” …so? Maybe I identify with “hoe-ness” more than I do ladyhood, after all i enjoy fucking”.  I guess so….

Finally, I got tired of hearing all that and I said “As you please, you have your right to be offended and I have my right to not care……with all due respect”.  She responds to me  by saying “dont bother with the respect. I’m a hoe, I dont DESERVE to be treated with respect. ”  Hell, all I had to say about that was …. “As you wish…”…. LOL

This all goes back to the adage “It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to”,  I never called HER anything, actually had very little idea who she was until she wanted to defend her “ho-ness”.  My thing is this, women and men are free to express themselves sexually in any manner that one sees fit.  How others perceive that man or woman is not my call…..it’s theirs.  If someone perceives one as a “ho” and chooses to sleep with that “ho”, no more, no less, that is up to the people involved.  However, if one chooses to be so blatant and open about their encounters (who, what, where, when, why, how, methods, frequency, position…) that they appear to be a person that one does not want to take home to meet their parents, move on….don’t get mad, open your own door and leave.

I still say  ” #GirlsShould not act like a ho and expect to be treated like a lady”.  Does that make me right??  To some, yes and to others, no…it’s their choice, one does not have to agree with me, it’s their life.

On an end note, this person’s bio says:  ”PottyMouthDirtBag,HawaiianWhtBlk, Altruistic,HappyFatty, Slam poet, Blogger, Raging Womanist/Feminist, Potential Soc.Worker, Offending Yu For 22yrs”

It looks like to ME that offender has become the offended…..C’est La Vie.  Thank you for joining me on this journey into total phuckery, I hope you have enjoyed your visit, thank you, please come again and watch your step.

So, I’ve been reading the rants and raves about CNN’s Roland Martin’s suspension for tweets he made on Superbowl Sunday.  If you missed it, here is what he tweeted:

“If a dude at your Super Bowl party is hyped about David Beckham’s H&M underwear ad, smack the ish out of him! #superbowl

Ladies, if your man don’t like sports, send his azz back to the factory. He came to you defective! #rolandsrules

I’m sorry. I’m not down with seeing dudes walking around with bags on their shoulders that resemble women’s handbags. #helltothenaw

Who the hell was that New England Patriot they just showed in a head to toe pink suit? Oh, he needs a visit from #teamwhipdatass

(Source)”

Many gay-rights groups took offense to what they refer to as “anti-gay” remarks and in response, CNN has suspended Martin.

I am not nearly as sick to death about hearing this story as I am people who are on the bandwagon touting that CNN is only reprimanding Martin because he’s black.  *SMH*

CNN’s decision to suspend Martin is based on color, but that color is green, it’s not black.  The bottom line is, when Martin or any other media correspondent speaks in a public forum such as Twitter or Facebook, they represent their organization.  If one makes statements that are contradictory to the “view” of the station, they take action.  CNN is a lot more worried about their advertisers than they are standing behind Martin or anyone else on their staff that steps off into stupid.

The next half-baked argument I’ve heard is regarding the 1^st amendment (freedom of speech) and how CNN is infringing on Martin’s 1^st amendment right.  Nooo stupids, they’re not.  The 1^st amendment states:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

Get that?? CONGRESS shall make no law…..in this case, it hasn’t.  Many people want to cling to not having their rights violated, but they do not want to cling to accepting the responsibility that goes along with them.  Martin exercised his right to “free speech” without taking into consideration that his high profile position could reflect negatively on CNN.  Granted, that is a large responsibility to have but it’s not a responsibility that is only afforded to Martin.  Paying attention to his public relations is a responsibility that he accepted when he took the job at CNN.  Face it, Martin put his foot in his mouth, actually, he put his fingers in his mouth and the consequence is his to deal with.

I am over the thinking that people of color should get away with things because “other people have…” I did not hear such public outcry when MSNBC released Chris Hansen (the journalist that did the ‘To Catch A Predator” series), nor did I hear the same public outcry when Don Imus was fired for referring to the Rutger’s Women’s Basketball team as “nappy headed hoes”.  As a matter of fact, the outcry over Imus was to the contrary, groups pushed for his release.  Why is it okay to push for the release of someone who makes negative public comments about people of color, but when a person of color makes an anti-gay comment, there should be no accountability?  The only reason I can think of is hypocrisy.

People from all walks of life make poor judgments.  I think that one can support a person but not support one of their actions, it’s not all or nothing.  I think that before people jump up on that bandwagon and say “it’s only because he/she is black”, that one looks at the situation and just says “it’s because he/she was stupid…..”  Why is that so hard?

Amazing what can happen when one actually listens.  I was surfing some blogs this morning and I ran across this piece of deductive reasoning that pinpoints the ‘Good Day’ that Ice Cube was making reference to in his song of the same title:

“Get ready for some truly delightful, faith-in-humanity-restoring news: The exact date of the “good day” that Ice Cube famously rapped about in his 1992 song “It Was a Good Day” has been positively identified by an extremely intrepid, heroic blogger.

Using flawless deductive reasoning, Murk Avenue has concluded that the good day in question was January 20, 1992.

The logic is as follows:

The song, which was released on February 23, 1993, references Yo MTV Raps, which began airing on August 6, 1988, creating a potential five-year window when the titular good day could have occurred.

The lyrics of the song also reference the Lakers beating the Sonics on the day in question: Of the instances when the Lakers beat the Sonics in that five-year period, only four happened on smogless days in Los Angeles. Of those four, two took place before beepers — also referenced in the lyrics — had been adopted.

On one of the two remaining days, Ice Cube was hard at work on the set of Boyz in the Hood, leaving January 20, 1992 as the only possible “Good Day.”

Vulture salutes this truly impressive piece of detective work and hereby inaugurates a campaign to make January 20 a national holiday, complete with parades consisting only of tricked-out lowriders.”

Source Article

I know that last night I was all the rave about DMX’s performance on the BET Hip Hop Awards and I do still think that he’s all that and then some but Heavy D laid it down.  I was a little worried about Tyrese when he first came out, I had some concerns that he had contracted a bad case of tone deafness.  He’s fine and all that but he got off to a rough start.  When all the water boils out of the pot, Heavy killed it. Watching him do the Dougie was great fun, so, I think that Heavy and DMX stole the show, but then again, I’m an ole head lol.

Tonight was the phuckery better known as the BET Hip Hop awards, which, by the way, I refuse to watch.  I don’t know, as popular as the culture is, I guess that I don’t have much in common with the messages, and, for the most part, don’t really care to.  BUT…and I do mean a huge BUT, I do <3 DMX.

Despite his drug problems and legal issues, DMX is still a force to be reckoned with, not only in the industry but as a poet with a message.  I know that I sound like a hype man (and I’m sure my friends are tired of me talking about DMX this evening) but each time I see a mug shot of him, my heart sinks a little lower and then when I hear new work or see him lay down an incredible performance, I am all on my feet.  Well, after being locked up, strung out and MIA for a while, the DMX performance at the BET Hip Hop awards aired tonight.  All I can say about DMX’s performance tonight is “He’s BACK!!!!” …. for a minute anyway.  Here is the video of the performance on tonight’s show: